I admit it. I blew my diet, but I couldn’t help it. I had that same shaken-pop-bottle thing going on, except it reached a different level to where I was searching the kitchen like a starving person, only I wasn’t starving. I ate a cup of strawberries, followed by two slices of cheese, followed by a cup of low-sugar bread-and-butter pickles. By the time I got to the car to take the boys to NJ, I was pretty sure none of this food was going to stay with me for long, but at the same time, none of it really satisfied me either and I was still jumpy and anxious. I’d looked up “anxiety disorder” in WebMD and I’m pretty sure I don’t qualify. I do, however, qualify for pre-perimenopausal, so I took an Evening Primrose capsule too. (That’s almost as much fun as finding I’m in the next age bracket UP when I take a survey. Thanks for the reminder, guys.)
By the time I got the boys to NJ, I couldn’t stand it anymore and I decided I’d never experienced this before and it had to be connected to my change in diet, therefore I needed to break the diet if I was going to make this feeling go away. And I did. At the end of a small french fries and one chocolate chip cookie, I was smiling again. The edgy feeling faded considerably, too.
I went home feeling miserably guilty but hey, the last time we were on South Beach, I allowed myself two dark chocolate (with almonds) nuggets per day and I was human throughout it all. I decided I’d have to pick up some more of those and see how I did, and in the mean time, I’d just go to the gym with John and work off my transgressions. I accept that I did something wrong and I have to pay the price.
Then I got on the scale this morning and found out I’d LOST 2 pounds. That was grin-worthy. 
I think the weight I took off was the monkey on my back. I seriously suspect what I had was a case of withdrawals. For the last 12 days we’ve had no bread, no pasta, no sugar, no potatoes; other than vegetables, no carbs whatsoever. I sat in front of McDonalds with the boys and I admitted, I didn’t really want to go in because I knew the smell of fries and delicious, absurdly unhealthy food was going to make me crazy. Ryan suggested I have a salad but I’ve had so much salad this last week, I feared I might grow long ears and a fuzzy tail.
Most of the diet resources I’ve seen say it’s okay to admit you’re human and you’re going to slip once in a while, but you should just suck it up and get back on track. That’s what I plan to do. I’m even saving my Graham Slam ice cream treat for next week in Wildwood, not tomorrow at the ballgame.
PS, Congrats to Chris Coste for going 4-4 on Wednesday night! In an interview he said he’s 8-8 when his wife is in town.
