I’m exhausted. This was the weekend from hell and I knew it was coming, and we had a lot of fun. It was just me and the boys at Sesame Place yesterday and at Autism Day Out at the Phila. Zoo today. Both times Ryan went there complaining about having to go but came home with a smile. Of course, it didn’t hurt that we stopped at the mall on the way home.
What scared me was the ride home. A song came on the iPod that reminded me of bedtimes and being a kid and wondering what it was grown-ups did after us kids went to bed. It sudddenly struck me that I’m the grown-up now, and after the boys get to bed, I do what it is grown-ups do. Mostly I crochet, watch TV, or go to bed early to get ready for the next day. Until that moment it never occurred to me that I’ve reached that point where I’m not the kid anymore, I’m the grown-up. What’s the next stage? No kids in the house. No one to put to bed; no more goodnight kisses; no more yelling at someone who hasn’t taken a shower yet. In other words, one step closer to death.
For that reason, if nothing else, I’m glad we were so busy this weekend. I let the boys ride the Swan Boats at the zoo. We’ve wanted to go on them for years, and looking at the boats, I knew it was going to cost some $ I didn’t have a lot of, but heck, the whole point of living is to do something. I got some great pictures, and the boys have a memory they can take with them their entire lives, of the time Mom let them ride the Swan Boats. (Last year it was the Balloon Ride, but the Balloon Ride was closed for today due to the weather conditions.) We ate lunch on a park bench and fed french fries to one very persistent goose. The boys watched the jugglers while I talked to a woman from Autism Speaks. Alex met Pikachu twice. (The first time he was so nervous that he practically ran away from the costumed character.) Yesterday they froze their butts off at the water rides at Sesame Place, but they ran up and down those rides for 3 hours until Alex was borderline hypothermic. They played games and shopped at the gift shops and we took pictures and had fun. This weekend, we lived.
I used to be jealous that John pretty much got the weekend off; I didn’t make him go with us to anything (he really didn’t want to go anyway; I gave his zoo ticket to a Phillies fan coming into the zoo). I thought it might be fun to have the day off and do whatever, whenever. Pure freedom. Now I’m glad I got to share those experiences with the boys. Like the song in Pippin goes, “If I’m never tied to anything, I’ll never be free.”