Rats

We had an appointment to see a house today but it was canceled; the seller found a buyer and they reached an agreement last night.  It may nag me for a while, wondering what we missed out on because we didn’t call to see it soon enough.  On the other hand, the idea of a bidding war didn’t float my boat.  The idea of going house-hunting again also isn’t floating my boat.  We have two houses in mind that we like for entirely different reasons, and what one lacks, the other has in spades.  The problem is, we can’t mix-and-match the two houses’ assets.  I suppose I could settle on one more than the other, but do you really want to spend that kind of money on something you have to settle for?  I may have to spend some time looking at the pictures again, to try to make myself fall in love with it.  I’ve done that before in my history and it got me some interesting experiences, none I care to repeat.  Ever.  (Dr. Phil said “Sometimes you make the right decision, and sometimes you make the decision right.”  He’s never been divorced.)

I probably spoke too soon about breaking through my writer’s block.  I tried to write last night, after spending the better part of the day at the ballpark (watching the Phillies win on a Pat Burrell 3-run homer; yay!) and driving to NJ to get the boys and then driving back home.  Needless to say I was tired, but I also thought I was inspired enough to make my latest WIP move.  No dice.  I even tried writing in first person, just to get deep into the hero’s POV, but it didn’t sound organic, the words didn’t flow, and it was a fight just finding the next word.  Either house-hunting has eaten my creativity, or I should know better than to try to write after frying at the ballpark and driving 120 miles. 

OR “Release Point” won’t let me work on anything else until I finish it.  I wanted to have it done by August 9th when the NJRW results come out (on the off-chance that I finaled and I’d be able to submit a more polished version to the final round judges) but when I fought my way up to page 55 and then lost complete interest in going any farther, I figured my time would probably be better spent on something new that made me excited to write again, rather than dragging-myself-through-a-pool-of-peanut-butter revision.  As of right now, it looks like I’m not getting a lot of choice in the matter.  At least she gifted me with an idea to plump up the theme.  I’ll drop that in place and see where it goes from there. 

A friend invited me to join her critique group.  I haven’t been in a crit group in YEARS, and the one I was in wasn’t the most constructive.  If you’re required to say 2 nice things (nice paper, loved the ink) and then you can let loose with what you’re really thinking, you know you’re not going to improve much.  Now my main fear is that Robin and her friend and Laura will look at what I write and laugh, much like that nightmare about showing up for class, only to find out there’s a test you had no idea about, and it accounts for 90% of your term grade.  I can only hope I come up to their caliber.  Worst case, they’ll tell me “nice paper, love the ink”.  🙂

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