My triumphant return

I can make that statement, pretty sure in its authenticity.  Over the last 9 days I’ve been so obsessed with finishing the rewrite on Release Point that I managed to write 43K words despite a full day at Hershey Park and a half day at Citizens Bank Park at the Phillies Phestival, not to mention a minor loud argument with my husband, a day job, and assorted other responsibilities.  Yesterday, despite a major case of exhaustion (it may have had something to do with standing on line for hours at HP, then doing it all again at CBP), I wrote 10K words to finish RP for the second time.  I still think it’s WAY better than it was but I know the last scenes need a lot more emotion in them.  I can do that.

The odd thing is that emotions slipped in that I hadn’t seen coming.  At one point the heroine’s father explains why he left her mother; her mother did to her father what I did to my ex before I left.  Our expectations were so far apart that we couldn’t stay together and stay sane.  I’d lost a great deal of myself in being who he wanted me to be, until I realized I couldn’t be that person anymore.  That’s why Danny left Elizabeth.  When I finished the scene, I had to hold my breath because it really pulled something out of me to be able to admit to that.  At the time, I’d just thought I was unhappy and he was a selfish bastard.  It was as much my fault as it was his.  (Maybe more mine; he didn’t really work on conscious thought very much.  I’m convinced he had ganglion where a brain should’ve been.)

I haven’t yet re-read the last 10K words.  Once I do that, maybe I can slip in a little more feeling, and then I’ll put it away for a week before I open it up again and read it through from the beginning.  It’ll be interesting, seeing the difference from the first version and this one.  Oh, and I need a whole new synopsis.  Even the one I sent the NJRW contest is off. 

I totally love this story and I adore the characters, but almost as much, I love that this story is finally done.  I can now, with a clear conscience, sit back and read another JR Ward book, or crochet something while watching baseball on TV, or even doodle with one of my other unfinished ideas.  There’s nothing I need to get done.  I’m on my own timetable now.  What an amazing feeling of liberation!


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