Scared

Okay, so Release Point is done, in a manner of speaking.  I’ve rewritten the last half of the story, and I promised myself I’d put it aside for a week and either play with something new or just take time off from writing altogether.  My mom needs an afghan for a neighbor who just had twins (I have a “spare” in the closet but not two) but I couldn’t find a pattern I liked enough to want to spend X hours on it.  Three hours of pulling out pattern books, trying the patterns out, giving up, starting over…I went to bed at 10 thoroughly disgusted.  I should’ve just read another JR Ward book instead.

Last night, just for giggles, I opened Release Point and the first page popped up.  “On a warm July night in St. Louis, Paul Dante…”  I looked at the first line that I’ve read at least a thousand times, and I cringed.  I just couldn’t read it.  It’s like when you see your driver’s license photo and you think, “Oh my God, do I really look like that?” and then you tuck it in your wallet and hope you never have to look at it again.  I couldn’t stomach even the thought of looking at the story, and I closed the file and walked away from the computer and let Alex play on games for an hour. 

I’m working on the synopsis for RP instead, which is challenging when you consider that the synopsis I wrote to get it into the NJRW contest bears little resemblance to the “finished” product, but I’m hoping they’ll let me resubmit a revised edition in case I final.  If I don’t, then I’ll have some interesting feedback awaiting me.  Last time I entered NJRW, I saw my overall score, bagged up the entries, and tucked them on the top shelf of the closet, a place I can’t reach without a ladder…but I can sure throw things up there if I don’t need them any time soon.  It took me 6 months to pull it back down again and see what the judges said.  Most of the feedback was positive, but not positive enough to warrant high scores.  Of course, looking back, that book wasn’t all that good.  Release Point, I think, is way better than that. 

Alas, patience is not one of my virtues…

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