I keep telling myself I don’t have a sixth sense, I can’t predict the future, and I can’t talk to ghosts, but sometimes I do it anyway. It’s cool in a way, but I don’t tell a lot of people about it (I guess that’s over with now) because I’m sure they’d look at me like, “Yeah right. Tell me what number I’m thinking of.” Chances are good I’d get it wrong, but once in a while, like a blind squirrel finding a nut, I hit it on the head. I’ve been known to “predict” what song is coming on the radio next or say something before someone else says it. My grandmother visited me once; the problem was, she was in Florida, in a coma following hip surgery, and I was in NY nursing Alex at 3 in the morning. But I know like I know my own name that she was there, smiling and so proud to finally meet her grandsons. The worst guilt I will take to my grave is that we never went to Florida so Oma could meet the boys, but when her spirit was finally free, she came to us. My mother called that morning to say Oma had passed overnight.
And after I lost Caroline, for a moment I stood in the kitchen making breakfast on a Saturday morning and I had a vision; I was looking at the cabinets but I “saw” several people sitting around a baby in a soft yellow blanket, and the baby had a full head of dark, wavy hair (like John’s used to be). I’m not sure who held her but I knew the baby was Caroline, and “they” told me that she was safe and they’d look after her for us. At that moment I knew she was in good hands. I’m pretty sure my Grandpa and Nana were there, and Oma and Opa, but there were people there, too, that I didn’t recognize, and I’m pretty sure they were John’s grandparents. I just got such a good feeling that from that point on, I knew it was okay.
Anyway, a month or so ago, on a Monday, I had the intense sensation that I couldn’t breathe but not because of an allergy attack. I was overwhelmed with the feeling that there was HUGE good news coming. I wasn’t sure what or where, but of course I hoped it was news from my agent that I’d sold “Listen to Your Heart”. I waited all week but didn’t hear what I wanted to hear, but the feeling didn’t go away. That is, until Judi Fennell emailed our chapter saying she’d sold her 3-book series to Sourcebooks. I was SO excited and happy for her, and it wasn’t until later that I realized, that’s where the good feeling was coming from. As it turns out, Judi learned on Monday that Sourcebooks was buying her Mer series, but until her agent went over the paperwork, Judi couldn’t say anything to the rest of us until Thursday.
This morning I was hit with the same feeling again. Can’t quite breathe, light palpitations, minor anxiety (but of a good kind). Naturally I’m praying it’s me, but I know now that it can be anyone close to me. Of course, we’re still waiting on a 2nd counter-offer from the sellers on Caroline Drive but I’ve pretty much given up on that, so I don’t think that’s it. We’re going on vacation next week but I know that already. What could it be? If I hear back today, I’ll let you know.