Did we just have a fight?

First, the good news.  The negotiations are over and the house sale is back on.  I don’t remember if I mentioned that we had some issues with the appraisal coming in $14K lower than the sale price, but the seller agreed to lower the price by half the difference, we agreed to waive the seller’s assist to get the final repairs done, and we have a deal.  After all we’ve put her through, Kim, our realtor, must feel like Howie Mandel.  🙂 

Last night as we were going to bed (after watching the Rays win the AL pennant and become the Phillies’ opponent for the 2008 World Series), John and I seem to have hit on a point of disagreement, because when we went to bed, he curled up in a ball on the far side of the bed and didn’t say a word.  (I think I responded to a comment of his in a less-than-sympathetic manner.  I’m leaving out the details for the sake of the innocent, mostly because I’m not sure I understand them, myself.)  He didn’t even turn on the TV to watch the late news, as we usually do. 

I laid there for a while wondering if I’d said something to piss him off, but rather than dwell on it, thinking myself a failure, I spent the time telling myself that I’m stronger than that, that communication is the foundation of any good relationship, and reminding myself of all the stuff I’ve been through that’s made me who I am now.  It was a really neat change of pace, considering it’s not how I usually see things.  It also took some adjusting to.  Normally I’d beat myself up over having done something wrong.  This time, I didn’t think for a second (well, okay, maybe 2 seconds) that I’d said or done the wrong thing.  Once, way back when, John and I had an argument when I said something that bothered him, but rather than talk it out, he said, “Never mind.  It’s just something I’m going to have to deal with.”  I obsessed over that for a long while, wishing we could hash it out so I could know what I did wrong and learn never to do it again.  As if the fault was entirely mine, rather than just something I did that took an uncomfortable trip through his personal filters. 

Fortunately this morning all seems to be okay because he’s talking to me again.  Not as much or as freely as usual, which makes me think maybe I have offended him, but if he doesn’t want to bring it up at some point, I’m letting it go.  Unless he thinks there’s a problem, there isn’t one.  Two can play that game too.


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