No, I didn’t misspell today’s date. I never quite forgot the importance of this date, though. When I was in grade school, my mom babysat for a friend of our family’s, a terrific baby girl named Amanda. She was with us for a few years until her father got a job in Arkansas and the family moved. Mom was heartbroken, and somewhere along the line someone got the idea to “replace” Amanda, which is why my sister Karin came along. Karin now has a baby girl of her own, River, and she’s THE most gorgeous baby on the planet. <G> And let us not forget, she’s a smart cookie, too! (She takes after her mom; Karin was gifted with high intellect. Get Karin, Pete and me in the same room watching Jeopardy and I promise, we’ll make your head spin.)
Anyway, I’ve decided today is a day I need to put a new foot forward. I’ve had some food issues going on and I’ve finally decided I have no choice but to recognize, I have a problem. That picture of me here? I don’t look like that anymore, and that picture was only taken last May. I bought baggy jeans to replace the good ones that didn’t fit anymore, and now even those baggy jeans are starting to fit. If I keep this up, they’ll be tight before summer comes. Yes, we have a problem.
This morning I looked up Overeaters Anonymous, and I fit most of the characteristics. I binge eat when I’m alone (hi honey!) and I think about food way too much. Last night I came home and practically turned the kitchen upside down looking for something to eat, and when I ate that, I went looking for something else. Fortunately I do know when to stop eating, and that time is now. Part of my reasoning behind overeating is psychological and emotional; I’m compensating for things I think I should be doing or things I want that right now, I can’t have.
I’m not an idiot. I know what’s causing this, and I’m finally going to work toward finding a solution. Therefore, today is the day I march forth.
The Serenity Prayer (borrowed from the OA website, and also my grandmother’s favorite):
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference