Outright Theft

I’m still not quite out of my blue funk yet, but rather than turn this into the most depressing blog ever, I thought I’d “borrow” some jokes from comedian Sean Morey.  He has adult jokes on his website, too, but for safety’s sake, I’m borrowing the kids’ jokes.  (I’ve told some of these to Ryan on multiple occasions, and if I time it just right, I can make him snort whatever he’s drinking.  Also a hit at family parties because no one gets embarrassed.)

What do they call a polar bear in the Carribean?
Lost.

Why did the sick wasp cross the road?
To get to the waspital.

What time is it when it is time to go to the dentist?
Tooth Hurty.

Why did the duck cross the road?
The chicken was on vacation.

Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

Where do sheep get a hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.

Why do watch dogs run in circles?
To wind themselves up.

How do you make a kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it.

What’s hiccup’s favorite color?
Burple.

What do you call two ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Cause they have big fingers. <snort! and EWWW!>

What’s gray and has a tail and a trunk?
A mouse on vacation.

What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
Bugs Bunny Farts.

A chicken is walking along with a book under it’s wing clucking “Book, Book, Book, Book,Book, Book, Book.”
The frog says “Readit. Readit.”

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?
Jurrassic Pork. <the most-often told joke in our house>

Do you have holes in your underwear? “No.”
Well how do you get your feet through?

 

 

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