Love Letters

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, or maybe it’s just coincidental, Kristina McMorris is holding a Love Letter-writing contest on her website that inspired me.  (More like, I had an idea that I had to get out before my head exploded.)  Please bear in mind, this is fiction.  I’m perfectly healthy, thankyouverymuch, and I plan to stay that way.  🙂  That said, here goes…

Dear Sam,

This August it’ll be 27 years since the last time I saw you.  I can’t say I’ve thought of you every single day since then; just most of them. 

It’s taken me a long time but I’m resolved with knowing that for us, it wasn’t meant to be this time around.  Without you, my life went on, and I know yours did too.  I’m truly glad to see you’re happy.  I wish I could say the same for myself, but I made my choices.  Some worked out, some didn’t.  It all unfolded the way it was supposed to.  I believe in a higher power, and I accept that I’m not in control. 

I just wanted you to know that even though 27 years have passed since we took separate directions in life, not a thing has changed about the way I feel for you.  It surprises me that I still feel this way, but whenever I see your picture, I get that same butterflies-in-the-belly feeling, and my heart races like it did when I was sixteen.  Even though we’ll never be together, I won’t ever stop wondering how different my life might’ve been if you had known just for one minute how being with you made me feel.

 By the time you read this, my time will have expired.  When the test results came back, the doctors told me I had a year at best.  So far I’ve beaten the odds.  All considering, I’m still pretty healthy.  If they only knew I had so much more going on inside me than any MRI can show.  Broken hearts don’t show up on X-ray film.

 If you happen across Yeats’ “When You Are Old”, I hope you’ll think of me.  Be happy for me, as I rejoice in having known you, even for a short time.  You changed my life.  Memories of you have brought me a lifetime of peace, joy and love.  I wish you the same, only much, much longer. 

 Until our paths cross again,

Pilgrim Soul