A Time for Letting Go

I had an interesting moment this afternoon. Driving home from the gym, feeling pretty good about myself, a song came on my iPod that made me think of my first crush. (No, I won’t take it off my iPod. I happen to like Elvis Costello.)

Let me back up. Once upon a time, I was sure he was The One. I won’t go into why, simply because we’ve all been there, and I’d rather not reveal details. Much better for all if he stays anonymous, and if you think you know who he is, keep it to yourself, thanks. Trust me, even he doesn’t know, or at least, I don’t think he does. I’d rather not know if he does know. Know what I mean?

Fast forward many years (>20), during which time my life went on, as did his, and here I am, sitting in my car, life going on, not-so-fat & happy. A song plays that takes me back to hearing him sing it. We were both younger then, and I had a lot to learn.

To my surprise, I didn’t get the old palpitations like I once did at the memory of him. In fact, it occurred to me that I’d probably never see him again. I’m actually fine with it. That surprised the crap out of me. It’s been a long time, but I’m ready to let him go. The Real One is out there somewhere, and I trust that we’ll find each other. I’m taking the Leap of Faith. Until then, I’m all about learning, living, loving, and laughing.

And, of course, knitting. I’m not doing too well with my one-project-at-a-time idea, but only because I’m trying  to condense things a bit. Just this afternoon, I gave up on two projects and put the yarn back in my stash. One is being recycled into Business Casual socks, and it’s actually quite perfect. I’m using the Pagewood Farms Alyeska in denim that I bought to go with another skein Laura the awesome gave me. My first ever cashmere experience and I still haven’t found quite the perfect pattern for it. Seriously, like believing no girl is good enough for your son, I can’t find just the right pattern yet. I won’t quit, however. Something this beautiful should likely be worn on the hands so the brilliant softness can be regularly appreciated. Problem being, the yarn is too pretty to cut. 🙂

No problem. In both cases, I’ll find The Right One.


3 thoughts on “A Time for Letting Go

  1. Funny how we can so closely tie songs to people in our lives. I couldn’t listen to Peter Frampton for over a decade, thanks to someone in my past. But, like you, time has healed wounds and I can now quite happily enjoy all those great tunes again.

    I’m messing up on my stash busting as well, mostly due to lack of actually knitting anything. I need to get back on that.

  2. Maura, I suppose it should only be natural for me to associate the people in my life with songs, the way I associate scenes in the stories in my head with certain songs. Even though I edited it out of the book, “Right Now” by Van Halen still feels like the way Will in “All or Nothing” is ready to fight for what he thinks is right (he’s so sweet and idealistic). “So Close” by Jon McLaughlin is still the dance/dream scene between the hero and heroine in my paranormal. All I have to do is hear the first notes, and I’m back in the scene, even if I’m on the treadmill at the time. 🙂

    Sigh. I think I need to go dig my iPod out of the gym bag…

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