Day 209: Let It Go

It’s Tuesday and I’m still recovering from the weekend, not because I partied my arse off but because I still can’t get over how much I got done. It was a solid end-to-end, get stuff done weekend. Saturday morning we did a park clean up for Earth Day, sponsored by my gym. The boys didn’t want to go but they went, and as delightful as it was to hear Ryan trying to introduce himself to a girl his age, it was just as delightful to see my grumpy Alex, who refused to participate, pick up a trash bag and start gathering trash around the playground. He saw the rest of us cleaning up, and he pitched in too. I still don’t quite know what motivated him; it may have been something the gym owner said, or something his brother said, but there he was, un-grumping as he cleaned up trash.

After that the gym gave us an hour of Boot Camp, of which I’m still feeling the effects. Next time I come prepared with a better bra. Ryan ached a bit afterward but he did the best he could, given his hip issues. (The girl he was talking to had to leave early, or I bet he’d have busted a move in Boot Camp, trying to impress her.)

Then we stopped for lunch and went home, where I hauled out the lawn mower and gave the grass the first cutting of the year. Yay. It’s times like that that make me prefer shoveling snow, but I did get to sit on the porch for a little while at dusk. (After a 90 minute nap on the couch. I was DOG tired.)

Sunday I got up early to do a 10 mile run, all the while reminding myself of the meme on Facebook that said, “I don’t HAVE to run. I GET to run.” I wanted to get in 10 miles to really get prepped for Broad Street on Sunday, so I went through the park, circling around a few places in hopes of adding miles. My knee was a little sore from boot camp but when I got home, 10.21 miles later, I took some Motrin and cleaned up.

Then I took Alex to Cool Kids, or at least, I dropped him there and then ran up to the store for some groceries. I lost track of time and had to rush back, only to learn I’d miscalculated the time and had 30 minutes to spare. We stopped at Wawa for a coffee and a few treats but I was so tired, I conked out again right after finishing the coffee. Sixty minutes later, I made dinner, watched TV, and hauled myself up to bed.

This morning (Tuesday) I listened to “Let It Go” on the iPod on the drive to work, and again it hit me how much I relate to Elsa. “Be the good girl you always have to be.” I’m so bogged down in doing the Have To’s that I don’t often get to the Want To’s, but Sunday is a big Want To. I want to have a good time at Broad Street. I want to have a good run. I want to laugh with my friends. I want to feel good out there and make good time. (And a part of me wants it to rain in the afternoon so they postpone the game and I can go home after the race and sleep, but that’s not happening, I think.) I want Broad Street. For a few hours, it is all about me. On Sunday, I’m going to let it go.

Broad Street is my last long race until the marathon. I have a 4 mile trail run if Variety does the Dash & Bash again (I so hope they do; I’m hoping to recruit my SFR group and Alex’s teacher to come too) but everything else is 5ks and fun runs. They seem like nothing now by comparison.

Someone put on Facebook yesterday about our first races. I put mine down: my first race was the Phillies 5k in March 2012. I’ll never forget seeing the “1 Mile” sign and seeing all I had ahead of me, and saying out loud, “I may have overestimated myself.” Now my light days are 3 miles. A run that short almost feels like cheating. I should be doing more. I’ll be doing more 10 milers before I even start marathon training, and then I’ll be doing longer. An average long run day means putting everything else aside and being out there for hours on end. I’m reading more about racing technique and form. I want to learn all I can so I can make informed choices and do the best I can to run safely and well. I’m a far cry from that lady in March 2012, barely able to sleep because I’m not sure I had everything together. Marathon training seems to be the art of zen. Prepare yourself, want to do your best, and then let it go.