Day 236: “I Think You Can Do It”

I’m back! 🙂 I want to start again, to keep track of the events leading up to Day 1, which will be quite a milestone for me. 

Last night I entered the Philadelphia Marathon. Registration opened at midnight, and the first 1,000 entrants got a $20 discount. Given that the $105 entree fee almost scared me off, I figured it’d be worth it to lose a little sleep. I forgot that the idea of doing this would make me lose a little sleep too, but oh well. 

The ironic thing is that I ran a half marathon on Sunday, the inaugural Philadelphia Love Run. It poured down rain almost the entire time, and when I finished there wasn’t a single dry inch on me anywhere. My legs were still aching when midnight rolled around, and getting down stairs is something amusing to watch I suppose, but I still signed up. 

Needless to say I’m nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before, and if I recall the traditional interview question, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I can sure as hell say this wasn’t in the game plan. But I started running and I fell in love with it, and it rescued me when my life was falling apart. It gave me purpose, and a goal to pursue. For me, this is the pinnacle. At my age I don’t see an Ultramarathon or an IronMan in my future. I’m not that crazy, but a marathon? I’ve done four half marathons now. That’s technically the same distance as two full marathons. Why the hell not?

Training for the Love Run, I did nothing but cardio in an attempt to lose weight, It didn’t work as well as I’d hoped but it did help. With this last half under my belt, I know one thing I want to do to prep for the marathon is to build up the strength in my legs and core, so I’m using the machines at the gym again. Tonight I spent 10 minutes on the rowing machine. That was fun, considering on Saturday I took the boys into Philly to get my race packet, and we passed a huge regatta on the Schuylkill. For ten minutes and change I could feel like one of those rowers, and imagine myself an athlete. But really, I already am an athlete, and that idea is somewhat bewildering, because I never used to think of myself that way. For my first 44 years, I was the polar opposite of an athlete. Three years later, look at me now. 

After I’d registered, Ryan came down the stairs for a drink, and I told him what I’d done. He thought a brief moment, then nodded and said, “I think you can do it.” I was stunned at first. I’m not used to positive encouragement; well, giving it, but not getting it. It was interesting, but it also told me I’d done something right if my own son’s first reply to a statement like that was, “I think you can do it.” No doubts, no laughter, no “Are you out of your mind?” Nope, he’s been watching me go running or go to the gym, and he knows I’ll put in the work it takes to get what I want. I’m just so glad to know that he knows.

That’s why I’m doing this: because he’s watching. 

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3 thoughts on “Day 236: “I Think You Can Do It”

  1. Carla, I am so proud of you!!! You are amazing. I’ve just started running again and I am using you for my motivation. I did a half marathon a few years ago and I think it’s time I set my sight on another one.Thanks for the push.

    And Ryan is absolutely right, you CAN do it. Go, Carla, Go!!! 🙂 ❤

  2. Thanks, ladies! And I should probably clarify, I used to have something of a mental block when it came to people saying nice things to me. I think most of us do, to some extent. Someone says, “I love your dress!” and instead of agreeing (and thus complimenting them on their good taste), we’ll say, “Oh, this old thing?” Yada x3 Back in the day BT, before therapy, I could even blow off a compliment as just someone being nice to me to get something they want. Yes,I had issues. 😉 But hearing it from Ryan…that was different. I can’t blow off something he says because most of what he knows, he got from me. Not the math stuff; that came from his dad, but the emotional stuff, the encouragement, the positive thinking, the “I think you can do it”? That came from his heart, and without hesitation. He believes. I can’t blow that off as someone being nice just to get what they want, because he’s going to get whatever he needs from me anyway. (Dinner, clean laundry, a ride to school, etc.) He’s not “full of crap”, as I used to see it. This wasn’t subversive. This was real. And if he believes, I have no choice but to believe. 🙂

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